Doctor visit

• Doctor: Are you sexually active?
• Me: Yes.
• Doctor: Is there any chance you could be pregnant?
• Me: No.
• Doctor: Are you taking birth control pills?
• Me: No.
• Doctor: Do you use condoms?
• Me: Nope.
• Doctor (beginning to look concerned): Is there a medical reason you can't become pregnant?
• Me: Not that I'm aware of.
• Doctor (looking even more concerned, now speaking in a condescending tone): Then how do you know there's no chance of pregnancy?
• Me: Last I checked, my female partner would have a hard time pulling that off.